Felicity’s Second Birth Story an Aberdeen Home Birth

Disclaimer: I had a truly terrible birth experience with my first child which opened my eyes to heart breaking disappointment, my only ever panic attack and long standing emotional issues which required a professional to help me deal with. First time around I had read every positive birth book going, attended all the classes and practiced the exercises and affirmations. Which I’m sure helped but doing these things had felt pointless and tragic after such a traumatic encounter. I apologise if you read this and it makes you sad because you didn’t have a good birth experience. I promise I have been where you are.

I woke up at about 2.30ish last Monday morning with v. mild cramping, but didn’t think much of it as I had had a few false starts the week before. I put my headphones with my audiobook back in and went back to sleep.

Except I didn’t sleep as I kept feeling these cramps. So I downloaded a contraction app and started timing them. It transpired they were going at a minute every 5 minutes.

Hmm that seems frequent, I thought, but as they weren’t really that uncomfortable I didn’t take much notice of them. Amusingly the app started giving me helpful hints such as “time to go to hospital!” which made me chuckle. It was when I had an urgent need to go to the toilet that I thought maybe I should wake hubby just in case.

So I did, and we went downstairs to discuss what to do. I had planned a homebirth so everything was pretty much ready to go. I was still in two minds at this point as to what to do next, but eventually decided to just let the midwife know that I was feeling something happen. When I eventually spoke to her she said she would come right away. I told her that although I was feeling surges coming on frequently, they really weren’t that bad so I wasn’t sure. She was coming from Oldmeldrum so said she’d be a while anyway.

By the time she got to us I was between surges and said I felt things had ramped up. I then had one in front of her, then another maybe 3 mins after. She immediately called midwife number 2, which I remember thinking was odd! Weirdly I still wasn’t totally convinced I was in established labour as the pain really wasn’t bad at all. Also I had only been awake for about 2 hours!

My husband ( who is always much more prepared than I am) had half filled the birth pool by then. I was aware I didn’t want to go in too soon and slow things down so I waited a bit longer.

Something I remember thinking was how manageable the contractions were. Using visualisation and breathing (from Hypnobirthing techniques I learned first time ) I felt totally in control. This is something I hadn’t experienced first time around. And if I did feel one that was less manageable then my body made the following one slightly easier to give me a little rest. I remember being so thankful that my body was looking after things for me.

Something else I was thankful for was my headphones. I had asked hubby to buy me some wireless big headphones that fully covered my ears. So I could block out any noise or chat from the midwives as they set everything up. I had spent a lot of time on my birth playlist (actually I had made 3!) and went with my classical playlist on the day.

The score from “inception” came on and I remember thinking this seems an odd choice, but the more I listened to it the more I felt like something truly unbelievable was going to happen- and It started to dawn on me that I was actually doing it, my baby was on the way.

I decided to get into the pool. Things slowed slightly, but then the surges changed. I started to feel them slightly further down my pelvis. I knew baby had started to descend.

At about 5.30am my first child woke up. Hubby ran upstairs to try and get him back to sleep, but sadly at that point I had hit the transition phase, and started grunting, then roaring, then screaming!

(At this point I didn’t realise I was in transition, I assumed I was freaking out because my hubby had gone)

My lovely midwives kept telling me quite firmly to stop screaming and I remember wanting to tell them to F**k off! But they were right, as I screamed I lost my control and my shoulders tightened up. I eventually decided to really try not to scream with the next surge and continue my breathing.

Just then my friend Emily silently darted past to pickup my son, she whisked him back past me and out of the house (I only actually remember seeing her foot) and hubby was back with me again. The next surge came and I breathed through it, and -hand on heart- I can honestly say I felt no pain after that point. I felt that my body was working but if I just let go it knew what to do. The rest was difficult to describe, I remember thinking “oh, this is what they mean” when all those books I read years ago told me that birth didn’t have to be difficult, or painful, or awkward or an invasion of dignity. I finally understood.

There were some complications with me resulting in a trip to hospital after, and although hospitals make me very anxious, I was so happy with the birth that I really didn’t care, it just felt like a slight nuisance.

I would urge those of you who like me, are anxious in a clinical environment to consider a home birth, my midwives were fantastic and I felt that my level of care was as good as it could be. The midwives I dealt with throughout my care are keen to see more homebirths, so if you are considering it then I say go for it!