Gracie’s Birth Story – A Positive Second Birth Following a Challenging First Birth

This is Frances & she arrived a few weeks ago at 39+4, weighing 8lb 3 3/4oz

With this birth story I think it’s important to actually start with a brief sum-up of my first labour, which definitely impacted my priorities this time round.

When I had my son in 2014 I knew practically nothing about labour (though thought I knew enough at the time), or positive birthing, hypnobirthing or that I even had choices. I assumed that between my body & the hospital staff it would just happen, that my waters would obediently break & contractions would feel a certain way & be easy to time & predict. I took relaxing music with me but had no idea of its role or how to use it.

Turns out my waters didn’t break first, I went ‘from 0 to 60’ in a matter of hours with unpredictable contractions, lots of blood & was rushed in an ambulance! Long story short, labour actually progressed well until my 9lb 11oz son turned (I had been sat back on the bed having no idea about optimal birthing positions) everything slowed, I was rushed from room to room, finally to surgery for episiotomy & forceps. Both my son & I were physical damaged from this birth (in fact 3 ‘purple pushes’ in surgery were enough to permanently impact my ‘downstairs’ tbh).

But mentally having no real understanding of, or control over, what had happened to me has been the hardest thing to come to terms with.

Fast forward to now By utilising all the information & support available, mostly from the truly wonderful Facebook support groups up here (I’m not local so these have been a godsend!) Having a debrief, reading up on positive births & attending Jade‘s brilliant hypnobirthing course, I was far more mentally equipped this time around.

So, I started having contractions at about 4.30pm Wednesday afternoon (after a lovely cuddly pyjama day with my son & husband – oxytocin aplenty). So I bounced on my ball, swayed & rocked, all 4’s etc. By that evening they were only a couple of minutes apart so, with what happened last time in mind, we went off to the hospital at about midnight. Went into a room straight away & was examined (midwife also gave me a little sweep too) but was only 3cm. However we settled in with tea & toast, an Eddie Izzard stand-up show & cuddles.

Within a few hours contractions slowed & we decided to go home again, a little disappointed, at 6am (with hindsight it was obvious it was early days as, though contractions were very regular, I was comfortably talking & moving around through them. Wishful thinking that that was it!)

Mild contractions continued (about 2-3 every 10minutes) so I chilled out at home, had a bath & a sleep & woke at about 1pm with serious contractions (oh yes, these were the real thing!). Off back to the hospital a little after 2pm & again went straight into a room. Contractions were very strong & every other minute, so I stayed standing up leaning on the end of the bed for support with my husband rubbing my lower back & talking me through my breathing. midwife did ask a couple of times to examine me & I just gave her a stern look I was not getting on the bed!

After a while I asked for the mat to be put on the floor & laboured on all 4’s with my face embedded in my favourite pillow. I did occasionally mention gas & air but I felt a bit queasy & was into a rhythm so decided to keep going without it. At what I’m assuming was transition, I really needed to rest so lay on my left side with pillows between my legs, all the while my husband kept up rubbing my back & talking me through everything.

You’re told your body will know when to push, & they’re not wrong! I suddenly had to get back onto all 4’s & instinctively started my ‘J breaths’ with big pushing surges coming every minute. My husband laid out in front of me the pictures we’d brought of my son’s birth & my affirmation cards, & after a couple of pushes my waters FINALLY broke & 26 minutes later my daughter was born, at 5.13pm!

I absolutely could not believe I’d done it and that we’d experienced the kind of birth I’d been reading about; unassisted, on all 4’s, moo’ing like a cow (husband had helped birth Highland cows in his youth & said my noises kept reminding him of it ) and crazily without pain relief!! At points there were definite negative thoughts going through my head; “I can’t do this” “somebody help me” “why’s the midwife not doing anything” etc but I didn’t voice any of them and really tried to focus on my breathing. Afterwards the midwife explained that she didn’t want to interrupt as we were doing so brilliantly, and to be honest ‘hands off’ was in my birth preferences

(I did have 2nd degree tear along old episiotomy scar, & there were some complications with my Vulvar varicosities, another hang over from my son’s birth. Suffice to say I’ve definitely had pain relief since the birth! )

I’m honestly still glowing from how well it went, mentally the difference from first time round is staggering. Big thanks to Jade for her great course, & all the information & encouragement she so regularly shares, & all you mums who have given advice & ideas & shared your stories, I consumed it all!!

Just wanted to add that all the MW’s & students loved my visual birth plan, & were really respectful of it too, but they all said they don’t see many at the hospital. In my experience the staff & MW’s at AMH were all brilliant!

Good luck to all of you who are expecting xx