In this episode I’m joined by Victoria White from Victoria White Birth and Beyond, based in Stonehaven. We’re talking all things post natal here, including posts natal doulas, what they do and how to choose one and post natal plans and what to put in them, so that you’re better prepared for the post natal time.
Transcript – Please note this is automatically created and may contain errors.
In this episode, I’m joined by Victoria White from Victoria White Birth and beyond, based in Stonehaven. We are talking all things postnatal here, including postnatal dillas, what they do and how to choose one. And postnatal plans now are, now you’ve heard of a birth plan, but if you’ve not thought about postnatal plans yet, this is the episode for you. We talk about what to put in them so that you’re better prepared for that postnatal time.
This is definitely something to do no matter where you are in your pregnancy. Start looking forward. You are listening to the Pregnant in Aberdeen podcast, a podcast for those expecting in the northeast of Scotland. I’m your host, Jade Gordon, clinical hypnotherapist, hypno birthing teacher and doula. My aim here is to bring you local information, birth stories, birth tips and techniques or as we have today,
things to help you prepare for life after birth And you know, not having family around. So that’s why I kind of decided to do the training while I was there and just fell in love with the role of the doula and yeah, now continuing that work in Stone Haven. Nice. Yeah, and I was really excited when you said you were moving back.
I was like, yay, we need more doulas here. Yes. And yeah, we can definitely talk more about doula in generally another time, but here we’re gonna focus on postnatal. Yeah. And I think doulas are becoming more well known. People are, I hear more and more clients asking about them, but I think postnatal doula is something that’s still unusual I people don’t really know much about.
Yeah. So just to jump to postnatal doulas then, before we talk about postnatal planning, what is a postnatal doula for those listening? Yeah, so a postnatal doula is is you know, somebody who, who supports you during that postnatal period. And that can be weeks or even months, you know, or longer into, you know, life as an,
as a family with a, with a new baby. So the, I think the beauty about the kind of postnatal doula role is it’s so individual to each kind of circumstance. So it’s about the needs of the family at that time. And they can be very practical needs, like things like, you know, helping around the house, helping with the,
the baby or practical things like breastfeeding support if you’re postnatal doulas trained in that way. Of course the emotional support is really important. It’s such a, having a baby is such a huge time of change. There’s a lot of emotions Yeah. Going around that and people need to sort of debrief. Some of those have their emotions, their thoughts and feelings really listened to and validated.
And also, you know, the information piece is really important here. So sign posting people to, you know, good quality information because you know, a lot of us kind of rely on Searchie on Google or Facebook or various forums and the information we get about how to look after our babies and how to recover from birth, whatever it might be, is not always the best quality.
So a, a postnatal doula can really help there in signpost you to the, the best and the evidence-based information. And it’s not just for people who have having the first baby either, isn’t it? I think we often see it as a, if you’re a new parent, like having a doula, but it can be like there’s extra challenges with each new baby,
isn’t there Often people like who seek out postnatal doula support are people who are having perhaps second or third child because they’ve had the experience maybe already of having a baby and they felt, you know, that they needed that support or it was a bit lacking in some areas or they felt a bit isolated. Yeah. And then they seek out that kind of companionship as well.
Yeah. And the next time, next time around when they kind of know a bit more what, what that period’s gonna be like. Yeah, Definitely. And I think a lot of people, like we always say like it takes a village and all of these things and in the past we’d have had family and like grandparents and like extended family and aunts and everything all around us.
And now most people don’t have that either. So it’s good to have just even like you say that emotional support or someone just to hold space to be there for you. Especially if you’re far away from family. And even if you are, like you say, sometimes the advice we get is out date or no, not evidence Based. I think as well,
like when you, when we learn about kind of like you were saying like it, that community support that’s kind of missing these days. It actually used to be, that’s not something that’s just kind of, you know, apparent in a lot of other cultures. You know, even in, even in Europe and in the UK and in Scotland there was this kind of like historical community reciprocal support when people had babies.
And that unfortunately kind of started to die as we headed into the 20th century. But I, I really find that fascinating to learn about because it makes, it makes you realize, wow, we’re not supposed to do this alone. This is not how we have kind of done it in the past. It’s not really how we’re designed to do it. And if you are finding it hard cuz you’re doing it alone or you know,
even if it’s on painting with somebody else, it’s on two pairs of shoulders even that’s too much sometimes. And we, we need other support and there is other support around. It’s just kind of knowing in advance like where to find it so that when you need it, you’re good to go, to go. You’ve got the number on your fridge, you can give it call.
Yeah, definitely. Yeah. And actually to move on to postnatal planning, that’s some, the numbers in the fridge is something I think really important for postnatal planning. Postnatal planning is something that’s not really talked about a lot. Birth plans, birth preferences are fairly common. Like people talk about them even whether you do one or not. There’s a whole,
actually there’s a whole other episode on that. It’s still uncommon for people to talk about postnatal plans. Did you do any postnatal planning when you were pregnant? No, I have to admit I didn’t. I think, you know, the only thing I could think about beyond, I find it very difficult as many of us do to think beyond the birth.
Like the birth for me was just this kind of all-consuming huge event that I, I couldn’t get past. I couldn’t think beyond that at all. And when I, if I did think beyond it, it was, it was in terms of a shopping list, you know, so I had this huge spreadsheet that had been passed down to me from, from friends who’d had babies.
And whenever I spoke to my partner about postnatal time, we, we really talked about it in terms of kind of equipment and which time we were gonna get and which kind of Moses basket and did we need the you in the sheep dream? Sheep Sheep or whatever it was called. But we never spoke about what life of a newborn might look like. And I think maybe,
maybe people are put off doing that as well because obviously babies are individuals so, you know, there is this huge amount of uncertainty. You can’t say that’s gonna be like this and then this is how we’ll handle that. But you can have conversations about some of the more common challenges. Yes. And I think that’s what postnatal planning is. It, it doesn’t really have,
you don’t have to produce, you know, a laminated yes. Mind map or you know, whatever. Or you can if you want, but it’s really, for me, postnatal planning is, is is about conversations. It’s about you and your partner, whoever’s supporting you, talking about some of the key things about having a baby and kind of, you know,
brainstorming around them, making sure that you know, you’re on the same page with things or if you’re not having discussions about why you’re, why you’re not, and thinking about boundaries as well, you know, boundaries and perhaps around who’s visiting you and, and you know, making sure you’re kind of clear on that with the people who are going to be supporting you in advance.
And it, it can, it’s, it is magic because it, it takes away some of that anxiety I think, you know? Yeah. Going into your birth knowing that you’ve got some of the, you’ve had some of these conversations and you’ve got some kind of strategies in place. You’ve got some numbers of people who can help you and support you.
You’ve had some of these important conversations. I think that’s for me if, if you’re the sort of person who likes to have a bit of a plan about things that can be really good for your kind of emotional wellbeing as well and feeling Prepared. And that’s, that’s really important because when we, most of the time when we feel anxious about birth or we feel uncertain about birth,
which is normal to feel some apprehension. Yeah. Particularly with anxiety, we go from where we are now to the event and back and forth. Yeah. We can’t jump over. Yeah. And often when I work with clients with anxiety, we’re always going over and looking back and with postnatal plans it gives you a bit of an opportunity to do that,
to think about after because it, like you say, it can be especially like if you are feeling nervous or fearful or anxious versus this massive thing and we, we almost like don’t let ourselves go beyond it because our brain is only focused on that small part. It’s so important. It’s a good way, like you say, to feel, to take back some control and of course get every baby is individual so you can’t find everything.
And I think one of the challenges I felt I did a wee bit of postnatal planning around boundaries and breastfeeding, but that was about it. Yeah. Yeah. One of the things I found challenging is I wasn’t around a lot of people with babies and so I didn’t know what was normal. I didn’t know, you know, like you pick up snippets here and there and to go back to what you were saying in that kind of community feel in the,
in the past when people would be supporting it would be normal for us before we had kids to be around newborn babies to see people feeding baby, to see those early days and to have a better idea of what it involved rather than hearing bits and pieces should read in books or like, you know, snippets here and there. And I think like that that is challenging.
I can remember N C CT classes talking about, we did a visualization of being with baby afterwards and I was like, I don’t even know what it feels like to hold a baby. Yeah. Bizarre to me. And I think like a postnatal plan is a nice way to have like a structured conversation. Different aspects you’re talking about because yeah, it’s like having conversations with what if conversations or what if this happens where we get support.
Yeah. I think a lot of people don’t talk about parenting before they have kids and then they’re like feeling their way. And there is a bit, when we talk about birth plans, we talk about birth preferences, right. And being flexible and of course it’s gotta be some of that postnatally as well, but just because you’re not sure how it’ll go doesn’t mean there’s no point doing a plan.
Right. No, absolutely. Yeah. Don’t let uncertainty put you off. I think it’s uncertainty is just inherent in everything we do, but we can still kind of have these conversations and, and you know, you, the point you touched on there about kind of not knowing what life with a newborn is like it’s so true. Like we, a lot of people do a lot of their paining behind closed doors.
Yes. And when we’re out in the world, we don’t talk about, we don’t talk about some of the kind of more challenging stuff. Yeah. You know, that there could be lots of kind of things wrapped up in that, you know, fear of judgment and, and all kinds of things. One of the biggest favors you can do yourself when you’re pregnant is sit down and research what new,
what normal newborn sleep actually looks like. I mean the amount of anxiety that you can avoid over just doing a little bit of research about that is huge because, because people will tell, will tell you what they think your baby should be doing or often very well meaning people will have opinions on that based on their own experiences. But often people are trying to validate their own experiences by kind of potentially putting a bit of pressure on you to do the same thing.
If you really find out like biologically what is normal for a newborn baby and for me one of the best ways to do that is to go to the baby sleep information source. So that’s basis online.org. Yeah. Not add link, I’ll add links for anyone. Yeah, that would, that would be a really helpful link to put in. It’s a collaboration between Dun University,
the CHE league and UNICEF and it’s, it’s evidence-based research about normal baby sleep and you know, there’s a lot in there about frequent waking overnight and there’s even a an app that you can download and you can if, if you so wish, kind of compare your baby’s sleep to kind the average for that age. So that can be really reassuring if you’re,
if you’re worried that what you’re experiencing is is whether, I think that’s one of parents’ big, big kind of worries. Is this normal? Yes. Because babies do some strange things sometimes and we often kind of have that, I remember Google that so much. Like yeah when will, when will we sleep? When will he sleep? Oh yeah. And it’s,
I think the, one of the most challenging things with that is not knowing when, like I always felt like if I had a deadline, oh on the 12th of January this year your child sleeps the night I could pace myself and work to, but it was the kinda open-endedness of will it ever happen really hard? A Lot of us have come from if you’ve been working,
you know, maybe in a career that’s been very sort of deadline oriented and goals and plans. I mean I certainly was, that was how I was my whole life had kind of been following this kind of plan and these goals and these timelines and then yeah, motherhood came along and everything was, was like say a bit open-ended and I really would’ve loved a,
a bit of an, you know, a crystal ball to find out when some of these things were gonna change. But that’s part of that like getting comfortable with uncertainty. Yeah. But you can still in advance Yeah. Do this little bit of research so that when the time comes you’re not kind of using your, your energy to kind of worry about whether or not what’s happening is,
is normal. And also like understanding that babies don’t really sleep a lot to begin with and looking at how you can cope with it as well. Like I think postnatal planning, it’s really important to kind of think about what you can do to help and who you can ask for help and where you can go for help as well. So you, you’re ready and you’re prepared.
Yeah. For that. What else do you want including the postnatal plan? Well I am, if anybody wants a little bit of a guide on, on some of the topics for, for a postnatal plan, if you, if you go to my social media, which is, so on Instagram it’s at Victoria White doula, all one word you can download a a workbook and there’s seven topics in there around postnatal planning.
So we’ve just talked a bit about sleeping, feeding is is obviously another big one that people, you know could, again to have conversations in advance about how, how you want to feed your baby, anything you might need to support that. What kind of support is there in the community for feeding? Do you want to communicate some of that with friends and family?
And other topics that I think are really important are physical recovery from birth. So how you’re going to kind of maximize your rest after the birth. You know, you may have quite a bit of physical recovery to do and what again, what’s normal, you know, what’s normal in terms of, you know, bleeding for example after birth. What can you do to help with pain management?
I think it’s good. Another topic to look at is mental health just in advance to, to be aware of the various different ways that mental health can be impacted in those early definitely days, weeks, and months. And perhaps what the difference is between symptoms of somebody experiencing what’s commonly referred to as the baby blues and, and when your hormones are really doing that big fluctuation after birth and what’s maybe a bit more,
you know, sort of a longer term mental health challenge that might need some support. The other topics that I have are our friends and family, which, you know, we’ve touched on a little bit, but that’s where boundaries can be really important. I think it’s some, it’s such a difficult thing for people because obviously when you’ve had a baby there’s a huge amount of joy to share and people are so excited and they want to help as well.
But often there can be a huge amount of stress around that as well. Everybody’s roles have changed, you know, if you, if you have parents, they’ve perhaps become grandparents and if we’re not clear on what we want in that period and how, what kind of help we want, then it can lead to huge amount of stress for everybody. So thinking in advance about who you want to visit,
where you want those visitors to, to come and see and when for how long could be really important. Also, do you want to kind of re have any requests from your visitors? Like do you want, you want them to bring some food or run an end or do you want to do specific things like ask them to wash their hands on arrival?
You know, you are completely in, you know, in your rights to have boundaries and, and you don’t have to be apologetic about them but you can be clear in them. Yeah because it’s it, it’s kind to be clear when you’re communicating them. And then the other two topics are are household because obviously you know, life doesn’t stop, you know,
other things need to continue, there’s other commitments. So who’s going to kind of maybe take on the various commitments of the household and for how long and and can you get any support for example, often people look into meal deliveries and that kinda thing. Yeah. And then I’ve also put our relationship there so if you’re in a relationship and you’ve had a baby,
it it will have a, an impact on your relationship that your relationship might look different for some time. So talking in advance about that, how you avoid the kind of competitive, you know, conversations about who’s had more sleep than the other and that kind of thing. I think all those topics can be really useful to, to talk through Advance. Yeah I think like we talk about friends and family as well,
it’s nice to have an idea of what’s important to you and then realize like some flexibility’s important cuz if you need more support afterwards you might end up having said oh we want the first we wild ourselves thinking that, you know, I really need someone to come and take my toddler to the park or whatever and I need this and yeah you know you’ll, it’s discussing that with family members of like that you have that relationship with it or understand that you can,
you maybe want some space or you maybe want some help. Yeah, I also like the idea of having like a list in the fridge of jobs people can do to help. So hanging out, washing poop, washing in, dishwasher on like whatever. Because often when people say, oh is there anything I can do in the moment you’re a baby and sort everything else and you’re like,
oh no that’s fine. But actually there’s probably a list of things that you know would be helpful. So sticking those up saying, oh there’s some stuff in the fridge list in the fridge, if you wanna do one of those, that’d be Great. Yeah, that’s a brilliant idea. And it’s quite nice cuz it’s, if it is, if it is uncomfortable for you to kind of do requests that are,
you know, direct, then that’s like a really nice way of doing it. I think often, you know, often people say to me that when the visitors come over they just assume that you want a break from your baby and, and that it’d be helpful for them to take the baby from you and then before you know it, everyone’s cuddling the baby and you are the one loading a dishwasher or making the lunch or whatever.
Actually in those early days, weeks, you know you’re, you’re getting to know your baby, you’re still, you know, making that bond and potentially feeding is still, you know, really key in terms of you having enough skin to skin time or just time holding your baby so that you read the feeding cues. So actually often people report that the last thing they want is somebody to take the baby but they do want somebody to go to the supermarket or run the Hoover round or do something else.
So yeah, my, my mom sent me, my mom sent me a Tesco delivery a couple of times, which is great. She didn’t need to do like the weekly shop. Like everything just came and of course like she got like fun treats and things so I’m mom was like staying hours away or so, so it’s a nice way to help from a distance.
You can’t pop to the shops someone but you can send Tesco. Yeah, Yeah. So in terms of locally, like what support you know of locally and I can share some things too of course like okay you offer support locally as opposed Natal do that. Yeah. And there are, when I had my, so it’s my daughter’s sixth birthday today and when I had my daughter there wasn’t really a part,
the only person I knew in the area who was doing anything kind of I guess helping people postnatally was when I met you and you did my three step rewind, well you were my hypno birthing teacher for birth and then you did my three step rewind. But the kind of concept of of a postnatal doula, there was certainly nobody around. And that’s changing,
you know, now we’ve come back to the uk I could see that there’s, there’s, there are doulas in Aberdeen doing this kind of work, which is amazing And I think if you are looking at potentially employing a postnatal doula, then do interview a few. Yeah because the key to the kind of doula relationship working is that you have that rapport, you know,
you want to feel comfortable as a person is, you know, in your home with you, you know, spending time with you and potentially you’re feeling quite vulnerable so you if if it’s stressful for you to have a conversation with this person or you don’t feel very relaxed and that’s not going to work. So I think it is important to interview a few doulas to find the right one for you and then yeah just look to kind of local support groups.
So if you are, depending on how you, you plan or how feeding is going for you. There are local, a lot of local breastfeeding groups. Unfortunately some of the things that used to be around, like we used in Stonehaven, I’m thinking about specifically, we used to have we in clinics on a Wednesday where you could go to the GP and talk with the health visitors and,
and that was quite a nice environment where you could be with other moms with babies who’ve just newborn babies who are being weighed. But that unfortunately has, it doesn’t exist anymore. Yeah. So it depends on your local area and and finding out what support groups are available and if meeting in person’s not for you, there’s online support as well. Yeah, freedom wise there’s also like the Facebook group,
Aberdeen and Shire breastfeeding support. Yeah. And if you’re not sure what’s available locally for you, that’s a good place to go and ask. There’s a list of of groups but also you can ask and see what’s running locally in that group and I wouldn’t wait till you’ve had your baby, you can join these things, you can go along to the breastfeeding groups before if you’re planning to breastfeed or you wanna know more about it.
Like we were saying earlier, we don’t see people feeding their baby very much and we don’t, we’re not in that environment and so that’s a nice way to do it to kind of see and hear from other recent parents who are like, no, like they’re, they’re in it. They know what they’re experiencing. Definitely. Yeah. And then when you do have your baby,
like it’s not like oh it’s a new place and a new, there be anyone there that’s friendly or whatever. You’ve got that connection. Yeah. There’s also, there is a four trimester Facebook group where you can kind of ask if there’s anyone near you that’s had a baby recently in connect with people. Cause I think especially since Covid it’s been harder to go to those meetings.
Like you say those way in clinics, some people meet people in they’re antenatal classes, a lot of them are still online though. And for some people it’s hard to connect to other new parents and that’s so, can be such a great lifeline to have someone just almost like reassuring you that oh yeah I feel the same. Yeah, I’m doing this too.
And things like that. Did you have a good support network? Yeah, well I did my, I did the N H S Antinatal classes and I did N C T, the N NHS class was huge. So this is back in 2016 so their bonds weren’t really made, it was just a really huge class. But I did have a lovely bond with the other,
there were seven of us pregnant in the N C T group and in fact they’ve all messaged me this morning to wish my daughter happy six birthdays. So six years later, you know, we’re all still in touch and that was invaluable for that kind of, yes 3:00 AM message, you know, what’s, you know, just reassurance when other people were kind of having these challenges that you weren’t alone was,
was really important. And I think I do really feel for people who’ve had their babies, you know, during covid and things are, are changing now, thank goodness. But yeah, everything being online whilst hugely convenient and thank goodness we had, you know, the ability to do that. I think the bonds were not made Yeah. In the same way and people perhaps have found it more difficult to have relationships in the same way.
So yeah, if, if you can seek out kind of face-to-face support if, if that feels comfortable for you, it’s not for everybody but that can make all the difference. Yeah, and I’ll share some links to different things in the group as well in the show notes because there are quite a range of different things and it, one of the good things about that time is that people have started up different initiatives like buggy walks and things like that rather than,
yeah like just kinda traditional things and often like baby classes will go to like baby massage and things. Yes it’s great for the baby but a lot of it’s about you having support as well. So We’re lucky around here when we moved to France I realized how lucky we are here cuz there are so many of, you know, we, you can do baby yoga,
you can do baby message, you can do massage music. So there’s a lot of choice I guess I guess it that comes with the caveat that if you don’t want to do those things don’t feel you. Yes. You, you have to just because a lot of people do them. I mean there were people who I was going to classes with who had at least a class every single day and really felt that they had to get out and you know,
I remember being in, in tears in the car with my daughter because I’d taken her to some music thing, I’d been sort of sure she would have a sleep between that and the massage class and she didn’t. And she was very upset during the massage class and I was crying about it and actually I just picked too much pressure on myself and her to kind of make this social schedule work.
You know, she needed actually to just be at home that day or you know, having a nice quiet walk or something like that. So yeah, these things are brilliant, thank goodness they’re available, but don’t feel obliged to tap into them if it doesn’t feel right for you. Yeah, Definitely. It’s, it’s finding what, what works and sometimes you,
you have to test it and see what works as well. Yeah. And see what works for your child as well. And then you have another child, it can be entirely different, which is the wheel life goal is, I remember like with my, both them, but after time was second we went to like a local crochet club and it was just like a group of moms who did crochet and it was such a lifeline for me just to have that and everyone knew that babies were fussing sometimes and they were,
you know, they were doing a bit of cro, a bit of feeding and a bit of multitasking. Yeah. And some of the more experienced ones were there and were making cups of tea and things. It was just nice. It was just as a really safe place just yeah. You, you knew like if you’re maybe was, you know, having one of those days everyone would understand if you had to leave early it was fine if you were an hour late.
Yeah, it was fine. Yeah. So yeah, finding what’s right for you. But yeah, I’ll share some different groups and things and I can maybe ask in the post birth group Aberdeen or the fourth trimester group for some classes and options because yeah, it’s finding what you, what what works for you and that you say you don’t have to do all of the things like it’s,
Yeah, no, it’s, it’s getting in touch with your nutrition again about what feels right for you. I think, I think that’s, and that’s the kind of message for this whole postnatal time is that, you know, you do have this kind of innate kind of knowledge and ability to like look after your baby, but we kind of forget that sometimes.
So we are, you know, maybe more likely to, to go onto Facebook and, and take, ask a question and take the opinion of a stranger. Yeah. Who, you know, we don’t know. And I think that’s valid and you know that I love that support sometimes that social media brings, but I also think just sitting with your intuition and really thinking like what is my kind of gut telling me about whatever the topic might be is really important to you.
Definitely. So for anyone listening who’s drew their baby soon or actually even as in the third trimester, what would you encourage them to do in terms of beginning a postnatal plan or preparing for postnatal? Yeah, I think like no pressure to, you know, sit down and write loads and loads of paragraphs about your, your plan. I think it just start having conversations,
start planting seeds, you know, even if you’re doing the washing up or having dinner, start imagining life beyond the birth. Yeah. If you can, what things are important to you? You know, is it, are you really worried about the sleep? So can you think about ways to maximize your rest if your baby is not, you know,
sleeping for long stretches at a time and, and other things like that and, and spend a bit of time being a bit of a, you know, a lot of us will be birth nerds and we’ll read books about birth and all, you read all about the stages of birth and everything, all our options, but we often, yeah, don’t think about our options when it comes to parenting.
So what’s important to you in terms of feeding what’s important to you in terms of sleeping, learn about the safety as well, like safe sleep is really important. So go to a erectable source of information on that, like the lullaby trust and learn how you can sleep safely with your, with your baby and, and don’t be, don’t be scared to change things.
You know, if something’s not working, revisit your plan when when you’re actually in it and you’re, you know, you’re living a life with a newborn baby and maybe you planned things to be a certain way and you, for example, decided that your baby was going to sleep in this particular place that your baby has decided that that’s not worth sleep. So you can be flexible and revisit your plan and try something else.
You know, that things change all the time. So nothing is set in stone when it comes to postnatal plan. So anyone who’s listening who’s thinking, oh, postnatal doula, that sounds like a good idea. Like when should people get in touch for you to discuss that? I presumably, yeah, you you encourage them to do that before they have their baby.
Yeah, ideally, but anytime really, I mean some people you know, think way ahead and, and can be just, you know, very early pregnancy and, and know that that’s something that that’s gonna be important to them and others, you know, don’t realize that that’s something that they ideally would, would like until they’re in it. So yeah.
And that again, that’s the beauty of the kind of postnatal doula service if, if for one of a better word, is that it’s so flexible, it’s so tailored to your individual needs. What one client asks for will be completely different what another client asks for. And in terms of timing it can be, you know, different dos offer different things,
but I tend to have a minimum of supporting people for six hours, which is not very much at all. You know, perhaps they’re just having you, they just want something the week. And That’s not all in one goal. Is that like Not in one goal. Normally I would do sort of two hours at a time or they might, you know,
I know postnatal doulas who are still working for families, you know, when the baby is two years old. So you know, it, it really is a flexible relationship and think about what you might need, what might help you in advance. And it can be, you know, everything from companionship to practical help in the home, practical help with the baby or just somebody you know to talk to and to sign Post you to that good quality information that you’ll,
you’ll need when you’re in those early weeks and months. If people want to get in touch with you, I’ll share all your stuff in the show notes. But you said on social media you are Victoria White dealer, is that right? Victoria White Doula, yes. Oh, well thanks very much. Amazing. Thank you. Doula service if, if for one of a better word is that it’s so flexible,
it’s so tailored to your individual needs. What one client asks for will be completely different what another client asks for. And in terms of timing, it can be, you know, different doulas offer different things, but I tend to have a minimum of supporting people for six hours, which is not very much at all. You know, perhaps they’re just having,
they just want something the week and That’s not all in one goal, is it? Like Not in one goal. Normally I would do sort of two hours at a time or they might, you know, I know postnatal doulas who are still working for families, you know, when the baby is two years old. So you know, it, it really is a flexible relationship and think about what you might need,
what might help you in advance. And it can be, you know, everything from companionship to practical help in home, practical help with the baby or just somebody you know to talk to and to sign post to that good quality information that you’ll, you’ll need when you’re in those early weeks and months. If people want to get in touch with you, I’ll share all your stuff in the show notes.
You said on social media, you are Victoria White, is that right? Victoria White. Yes. Thank you. Thank you again to Victoria for joining me here today. Here are a couple of points I want you to take away from this episode. Firstly, a postnatal plan is a great idea, similarly to a birth plan. The power is in the creation of the plan rather than the end product.
It’s in the questions you ask yourself, the things that inspires you to research and discussions you have with your partner and those around you. Secondly, researching and finding out what’s normal, postnatally is really helpful. Looking at those questions that you might be asking yourself at 2:00 AM once baby’s here, things like what’s normal for baby sleep? How long does it take baby to sleep?
Is it normal that my baby wake this many times a night? How often should baby be feeding? What’s a normal feeding pattern? Whether you’re formula feeding or breastfeeding or expressing or combination feeding or anything else. What’s the kind of normal thing to expect? Things like safe sleep options are really helpful as well. Even if you plan for baby to sleep a certain way,
it’s good to know what safe sleep options are out there in case you change your mind in the middle of the night. It’s great to have that information to hand. Finally, I really love victorious point that we tune into our intuition more. It’s so easy to feel like we don’t know what we’re doing. We’re brand new to this. So we looked at Facebook or Google for help.
And while it’s great to have community support and peer support, doing what, what works best for your baby, yourself and your family is really important. If you feel overwhelmed by all the things you have planned, it’s okay to stay at home. And if you’re craving connection and community, that’s fine too. It’s tuning into what you need and what baby needs.
Thanks for listening. Head over to the show notes for this episode for more links and [email protected] slash episode seven. And as I say, you’ll find links, edit additional resources and how to connect with Victoria if you’re interested in her services. Thanks again for being here with me today and do get in touch if you have any questions, you can email me,
jade pregnant aberdeen.com and I’ll be back very soon with our next episode.